An Irreversible Decision

We all make decisions, hundreds – (thousands?) – of them every day. Left or right; toast or English muffin; buy or sell; seek a raise or not. The list is endless. Many daily decisions are routine, mundane. Their consequences have insignificant effect on the big picture of our lives.

Other decisions have striking consequences. Ones that are irreversible with life changing outcomes.

Last week, all normalcy of life skidded to a stop as I was called on to make an irreversible decision. The process was like grieving. A full range of emotions. Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance – all these emotions come into play. The experience is physically draining. Sleep, to restore my emotional strength, was in short supply. Neither food nor alcohol calmed my anxiety. I sought expert opinions in the hope of receiving clarity. None appeared. No epiphany. Despite being surrounded by family and friends, I stood alone, singularly responsible for making the decision.

In the end, I acted. The advice, comments and warnings distilled into one tidy package. Do it. Do it now. Do not wait. Sooner is better than later. I scheduled an appointment with the surgeon for 9AM Monday. I expect within a few days, I’ll be able to successfully count to 19 on my fingers and toes.

Here’s the takeaway: If you are a member of the Metformin with meals club or the insulin for lunch bunch, heed the advice of your health care professional. Really. Lip service doesn’t cut it (been there, done that). You cannot bullshit your way out of the circumstance. I tried that and failed. Lower your blood sugar, now. Not tomorrow. Immediately. Lest an otherwise insignificant bruise, cut, scrape or blister can quickly (over a weekend for me) change things permanently.

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